On Patterns

Apparently, I’m on a writing spree. Onward then…the second follow-up to my decidedly late New Year’s post.

From Celtic Devotional, Caitlin Matthews asks the manifestor this: How can I change my thought patterns to empower my goals?

Great question. Loaded, but great. There is a school of psychology that addresses just this called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (sounds juicy, eh?). I imagine managed care systems heart CBT, as it’s designed to be short term and results oriented – and therefore cost efficient.

My managed care grumblings aside, CBT is shown effective in treating issues such as depression or anxiety. The basic premise is that thoughts and beliefs influence emotional states, and emotional states influence behaviors. I would add into this the effects of thoughts and emotions on the soma.

If I can isolate my habitual thoughts, observe their impact on my emotions and behaviors, and modify those thoughts as necessary, then with some practice I might be able to reshape my experience of myself in the world.

There’s a mindfulness plug here, as mindfulness is a means to observe our internal landscapes in the here and now. (Actually, some clinicians are beginning to blend CBT with mindfulness practices).

So.

Back to Caitlin Matthew’s question of how can I changed my thought patterns to empower my goals? In my previous post, I identified the following as energies I wished to invite or “manifest” into my life:

“The quality of being open to possibilities. The ability to dream and dream big.
The knack of believing in myself. The expansion of my worldview.
The transmutation of anxiety into a peaceful stance.”

What stands in the way? For me, an incredible bohemeth of negative self-talk internalized. She is doubting, critical and doesn’t know how to be any other way. She holds the torch for those souls (do they know who they are?) who told me I was less than so many years ago. She’s a dedicant to strife and a believer that one is not entitled to ask for much beyond the rudimentary basics of existence. You see, somehow suffering and fulfillment became sickly interwoven in my family. Somehow, a culture of “I can suffer more than you” dominated the scene; a talent show of sorts where certain people paraded the weight of their baggage, while others were told to shut-up, eat their popcorn and enjoy the show. She weighs in as a judge for this show. A veritable Simon Cowell of sorts.

I understand what needs to change, but the how is the tricky part. How to change thought patterns that were etched into your gray matter at a very young age. Yes, I can map out my beliefs, become intimate with them, create countering beliefs and affirmations…and this all helps. It does.

For me, matters of spirit also arise. It is in spirit that I am big enough to fold my arms around Her and ask Her what it is she really needs with compassion and patience, as a precious few have done for me. It is in experiencing myself as more than my thoughts, my emotions, my body…and at the same time understanding that I – this ego concept of “My, Me, Mine” – is mutable, shape-shifting, impermanent. In all of this maybe, just maybe, Her fear will undergo that alchemical process of transmutation.

In the service of Love and Peace.